Woodbro Chillson

but I can’t mention them by name cause they got a tumblr now and I dont want them to fire me

I guess this is what “the real world” feels like

ryanhatesthis:

Maybe he was being a dick. What if he and the president went out for some Taco Bell, and he had asked the president, like at least 4 times, “do you have some cash, because I’m totally not buying Taco Bell again,” and the president’s all like, “yo, I got this.” But then you get to the Taco Bell and the president’s like, “yo, could you spot me?” And you’re like, “dude, first you ask if I can smoke you up, then you want me to drive to the Taco Bell, when you know all I have is a learner’s permit, because I couldn’t pass the written exam — I’m a good driver, I’m just shitty at standardize tests, you know? — and then you fucking make me buy you Taco Bell?” And then what if the president got like that Mexican Pizza thing, which everyone knows is not even something people get because it’s like 10 fucking dollars for all the ingredients you can get off the dollar menu. What a dick.

First World Problems: The Joke That Was Never Funny But Never Seems To Die

she’s 25(?) and has like a really good job but I still dont get it

without Kevin those tickets the worth shit

dont mind if I do! SUMMER TIME WHEN THE WHETHERS E-Z

Talking about how Obama called people making more than $250,000 a year “Jet Owners”

“New Citation CJ  (entry level jet)–$5 million. Annual operating costs (fuel, hangar space, pilots) about $500,000.”

Made me imagine a rich snob looking at his friend’s Cituation CJ and saying “Well, that’s a pretty entry level jet.”

tremphantasma:

Grad Student Deconstructs Take-Out Menu

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Jon Rosenblatt, 27, a Harvard University English graduate student specializing in modern and postmodern critical theory, deconstructed the take-out menu of a local Mexican restaurant “out of sheer force of habit” Monday.

 

Jon Rosenblatt with the menu in question.

“What’s wrong with me?” Rosenblatt asked fellow graduate student Amanda Kiefer following the incident. “Am I completely losing my mind? I just wanted to order some food from Burrito Bandito. Next thing I know, I’m analyzing the menu’s content as a text, or ‘text,’ subjecting it to a rigorous critical reevaluation informed by Derrida, De Man, etc., as a construct, or ‘construct,’ made up of multi-varied and, in fact, often self-contradictory messages, or ‘meanings,’ derived from the cultural signifiers evoked by the menu, or ‘menu,’ and the resultant assumptions within not only the mind of the menu’s ‘authors’ and ‘readers,’ but also within the larger context of our current postmodern media environment. Man, I’ve got to finish my dissertation before I end up in a rubber room.”

I guess it’s back to writing poop jokes for me

the standards have been lowered, ladies and gentlemen

scr-atched:

archviles:

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE MARVEL COMIC

A BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO!

“I was in New York on 9/11 when the towers came down. I lived 14 blocks from the twin towers. And when they came down, I thought that the world had ended. And I remember walking around in a daze for weeks. And Mayor Giuliani had said to the city, “You’ve got to get back to normal. We’ve got to show that things can change and get back to what they were.” And one day I was coming out of my building, and on my stoop, was a man who was crouched over, and he appeared to be in deep thought. And as I got closer to him I realized, he was playing with himself. And that’s when I thought, “You know what, we’re gonna be OK.”

fussybabybitch:

Our next door neighbor who crouches behind the fence and pretends to be a dog when people walk past.

“Bark bark don’t worry honey this will keep burglars away woof woof.”

Bachmann also famously said the passing of this health care bill would lead to a sort of “gangster government,” which speculators theorize is similar to the “gangster planet” from the original Star Trek series.

Answer: Racism and hate.

puppytube:

crabkidd:

best desktop everybody go home

incorrect

i am the best in the world at computers.

you big dummy

Motherfuck Bachmann AND John Wayne